The air has left my chest.
I just heard.
I didn't know.
Denis Johnson was my favorite living author.
I read everything he wrote and loved every one.
My favorite is Fiskadoro, Stars At Noon, and Already Dead.
Those of you who don't know his books, you should. You always should have.
Lump in my throat.
I got Denis' number from a philosopher journalist writer friend from Germany in 2001, Wolfgang Froemberg.
I called Denis to ask if he would help me edit my book, I've been slow to write, since 1996.
I was in Australia on tour during the phone call, when cell phones had just begun and I spoke to him at night, on a drive to some far away town in Queensland, for about an hour.
He was living in Iowa, at the time, had gotten a good job at the university, teaching some kind of something to do with writing or English obviously.
We shared stories and antics and laughed and he was gentle and kind and was curious about my story so I told him best I could.
My story is something of a far out scary real life kind of war/ghost true story.
I told him the title and he said he would love and be honored to edit it.
He offered me to sit with him with a tape recorder, and speak him my story and he would transcribe it.
I thought that was too much, but I still think and thought then, that telling Denis my story, which has brought years of nightmares and years of magical realizations, I thought telling him, would be perfect bearing witness.
Like I said, he's my favorite living writer.
Now he has passed.
And I didn't know until today.
The emails we later sent were jolly though few.
My lifestyle grants me losing touch with everyone I love, so of course, after years of changing emails, crashed laptops, lost cell phones, I lost touch with him.
I always thought, one day I would have enough time to get it together to get that ball rolling with him.
To make the trip out to Iowa and meet with him and his wife for a weekend and get the story out.
I'm just really fucking sad.
Denis is amazing.
His first person female character of Stars At Noon, had me like a hook. Sunk. Fiskadoro. A film I wish I could make.
I LOVE YOU DENIS JOHNSON